


Lucky

by KellinJoJo



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amputee Erwin Smith, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Body Worship, Disabled Character, Hurt/Comfort, Injured Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), It's there if you tilt your head a certain way, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Military themes and injuries, Praise Kink, all of this is very soft, they’re roommates in a military hospital
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:01:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29852256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KellinJoJo/pseuds/KellinJoJo
Summary: Luck was something the weak believed in...or at least that was what he had been taught during his time on the streets. Only those that couldn’t defend themselves believed in luck: “Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to make it another day”. In his mind if you wanted to make it another day then you'll do everything to make it to the next, not rely on Lady Luck.******So I tagged spoilers because this does contain spoilers for the manga; however, since this is an AU the only spoilers are in relation to the injuries they have sustained. Other than that there's no need to worry!
Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith
Comments: 4
Kudos: 61





	1. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He couldn’t remember what exactly had happened but he does know that his hearing still goes in and out occasionally so he imagines it must have been an explosion. Bruising covered his torso and there was a nasty yellow one on his right thigh...which leads him to believe it must have been a bad one for him to get this beat up. Levi had managed to make it through tours before this unscathed but this time was different. This time he was unlucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a WIP that I've been a bit hesitant over honestly. The idea came to me and I added it to my long list of AU ideas and figured I would get around to it later...well 26 pages later I wrote this in a day. It was so long I had to take a break from it to edit it and now here it is. 
> 
> There are like...kind of manga/anime spoilers in here since the injuries they have are canon injuries. So you have been warned. 
> 
> Anyways, please enjoy this piece that was a means for me to emotionally cope with them being injured and seeking comfort from one another!

Luck was something the weak believed in...or at least that was what he had been taught during his time on the streets. Only those that couldn’t defend themselves believed in luck: “Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to make it another day”. In his mind if you wanted to make it another day then you'll do everything to make it to the next, not rely on Lady Luck. Maybe if he had believed in luck then he wouldn’t be here in the military hospital with gauze over his half his face and missing his index and middle finger on his right hand. 

He couldn’t remember what exactly had happened but he does know that his hearing still goes in and out occasionally so he imagines it must have been an explosion. Bruising covered his torso and there was a nasty yellow one on his right thigh...which leads him to believe it must have been a bad one for him to get this beat up. Levi had managed to make it through tours before this unscathed but this time was different. This time he was unlucky. 

“Ah, you’re awake!” a chipper voice cut through and Levi sifts his gaze from the ceiling to instead settle on the young blond that was walking into the room. The man seemed too young to be his doctor and despite Levi’s face being half covered his assumption must have shown anyways. A nervous laugh escapes the other’s lips as he finally stands by the hospital bed, “I’m Dr. Arlert...I’m not your doctor- Well, I am but I’m not.” 

Levi offers him an unamused stare that makes the younger man clear his throat, “Sorry, I’m an army medical student so I’m the resident working on your case but I’m not the surgeon. That would be Dr. Zoe but they’re working in surgery at the moment so you’ll have to deal with me for now.” 

The blond then goes to work checking the various machines around the bed and scribbling some numbers down before he goes over to take a look at Levi’s hand. Levi notes how Arlert makes sure not to touch him and instead just looks over the gauze and then lets his eyes drift up to the bandages on his face. 

“What happened.” 

For a moment Levi didn’t even recognize his own voice. He wasn’t sure how long he had been out...honestly, he wasn’t really sure of anything. How much time had passed? Was it an explosion? What exactly had happened? Was his squad okay? Where were they? All these questions go through his head and make pure adrenaline run through his veins as anxiety starts to consume him. The air in his lungs begins to feel non-existent as he imagines his squad members dead and him the only one alive. He was in charge of them...so they couldn’t be dead. They were all he had. 

The doctor watches carefully and once again makes sure not to touch Levi, so instead he just speaks as softly as he can, “Sergeant Ackerman...please take a deep breath.” Armin’s voice manages to bring Levi out of his thoughts for the briefest moment and his eyes flicker towards the blond. Logic starts to take over and he’s reminded that he needs to breathe or else he will pass out.

The air fills his lungs and the strain against his ribs causes a shooting pain to go down his side. A wince flashes on his face and makes his eyes slip shut. All he can feel is the pain lighting up his body, but at that moment it was the only thing to keep him grounded. The pain was enough to make him remember that this was real and he didn’t have time to cave in. 

“I’ll tell you what I know, but Dr. Zoe will be able to tell you more,” Armin offers once Levi has calmed down enough. The kid offers a small smile that Levi imagines is supposed to make him feel reassured, “there was a humvee accident. The vehicle rolled over a bomb and it went off which flipped it. The rest of your squad is here, rest assured, but they’re all in worse condition than you are so no you can’t go see them. You are also not in the state to move around at the moment since you did sustain a head injury, but I’m getting ahead of myself.” 

There’s a pause as he flips through his charts before clicking his tongue, “You lost your index and middle finger on your right hand, there are a few broken ribs, and right now we are still waiting to see about your right eye. There will be facial scarring but whether or not you will be able to see out of the eye is still unknown.” 

Levi takes in everything before offering a snort, “Don’t spare feelings do you?” Arlet just looks at him for a moment and soon enough a grin curls on his lips. It’s the first genuine look Levi has seen on the boy's face. 

“It’s the army...no need in sparring feelings,” the kid says before straightening up once more, “Everything looks fine so I’m going to leave you alone now. Dr. Zoe will be in later to assess if you can be discharged out of the intensive care unit and put into another ward.” Levi can only offer a nod, so with that the other leaves and he’s left with nothing but the deafening silence of the room. 

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting Dr. Zoe to be like but what he got was not it. They were loud and chatty to the point he could feel a headache spreading through his temples within the first minute of their conversation. 

“Sergeant Ackerman! Looking good!” Their perky voice sounds against the walls and rattles in his skull in the worst way possible. Even the doctor standing behind them seems to flinch and place a nervous hand on their shoulder. 

“Hange...please lower your voice this is the ICU,” His voice is much softer and timid and in turn easier on Levi’s ringing ears. This one seems like the more rational and soft spoken of the two and judging by the way Hange deflates and pouts...he figures his assumption is correct. 

“Oh right...thank you Moblit,” Hange turns back to Levi and it doesn’t take long for the grin to resume on their face. The doctors approach his bed but neither make a move to touch him. Part of him wonders if they’re specifically trained to avoid physical contact unless necessary. Though he doesn’t care enough to ask. 

With a hum, Hange claps their hands and rubs them together in a way that makes Levi slightly nervous, “Anyways, Armin should have already been by to brief you. I can look at you and tell that you’re ready to be let out of intensive care, so we’ll be moving you to the third floor which is where our healing men go to stay until they’re ready for full discharge. You will have a roommate so I hope you play well with others.” 

He’s quiet throughout all of the exchanges and just settles on a nod. Hange reaches over to snap on a pair of latex gloves, which Levi is immensely thankful for, and then quirks a brow in a silent question. Unease floods through him at the thought of someone touching him but he knows he’ll have to relent if he wants to get better. So he just gives a grunt which is enough for Hange. They reach forward and start to work on the bandages around his face. 

“You’ve been asleep for a while,” they muse as careful fingers unwrap his head; however, their face looks like a child unwrapping a present on christmas, “it’s been a week since the accident. When you all came in you were banged up pretty bad, but like most officers we get here, you were still trying to get your squad taken care of first. After surgery you were pretty much in and out.” 

The gauze is finally off his face and he begins to wonder what he looks like. No one had really described the extent of his facial injuries except for the possibility of him losing his eye. His face must look ugly and marred all things considered so he’s glad there isn’t a mirror around. 

Hange studies his face with narrowed eyes before nodding, “Looks like you’re healing up pretty well on the face. No infection showing. How’s the eye?” 

“Blurry,” he answers with a shrug, “Doesn’t really matter if I can see out of it or not considering I’m never going back on tour again. I’ll work on base from now on or get a medical retirement.” It was the truth...he was never going back out there again since he was missing fingers. Whether he could see or not didn’t matter anymore. Most civilians would consider him lucky but all he knew was war. 

Hange just gives a hum before grabbing the clean wrappings from Moblit’s hands and then makes quick work to disinfect the stitches on his face and then wrap him right back up, “Moblit will check your fingers since he’s the one that cut them off and then Arlert will be back to get you to the third floor. I’ll check on you periodically but Arlet will be the main one you see from now on since this is no longer a surgical matter.” 

It doesn’t take long before the kid comes back to move him. He’s wheeled through the ICU halls and every sight that reaches his good eye makes him feel sick. There were men and women laid up in the beds missing limbs, he could smell burnt flesh, and the sounds of pained moans and groans filled his ears. With every new sight all he wants is to get the hell out of the ICU. His posture is rigid the entire time they walk down the halls to eventually reach the elevators. Thankfully Armin didn’t say anything in an attempt to comfort him. He didn’t deserve to be comforted in the presence of all these people in pain. 

Getting in the elevator is a God send. As the metal doors slide shut he exhales out the breath he had been holding in with his shoulders relaxing. They ride the elevator in silence and once again he finds himself being pushed through the halls until they make it to a room, “This is your room. Your roommate is at an appointment so for now you’ll have time to adjust to the space while he’s gone.” Once the door is opened, he allows Armin to wheel him to the bed even though they both know it’s unnecessary. He just has a bruise on his leg so it isn’t like he’s completely crippled. 

Levi stands slowly and goes to sit on the edge of the bed, his eye cutting up to Armin who’s backing away with the chair, “This is the rehabilitation floor so you have free roam of the entire floor. There’s a sitting room where a lot of the men and women go to watch TV or socialize so make use of that if you would like. Meals are also prepared in the dining hall by the lounge so you’ll have to go there when you’re hungry. This facility likes to promote healthy interactions.” All the while Armin gives his spill, Levi just moves to settle himself under the blankets. It’s clear he’s done with the interaction which has Armin taking his leave. 

The door shuts behind the young doctor and like earlier...he’s alone. 

At this point being blanketed in silence is something Levi isn’t used to. Military life is loud and unwavering for the most part, so peace and quiet is few and far between. While the silence is nice on his ears...it only makes him think about things he’d rather not worry about. His mind gets consumed with the idea of his squad members laying somewhere in this hospital dying. 

His eyes slip shut and for a moment he dozes off into a light sleep. Though it doesn’t last that long considering the sound of the door being opened has his eyes flying open. 

There’s a shuffling noise and then the sound of the door clicking shut behind the person. He feels a fluttering breath leave his lips once he realizes that he’s safe. Levi takes in the details of the other quickly and notes that he was incredibly tall and broad. Though most men in the military are. Grey eyes roam over the well muscled back and drift up to the undercut and messy blond hair that brushes over the other’s ears. When the man turns to look at him his eyes widen the slightest bit before they resume their natural state. 

Levi notices the lack of a right arm but manages to keep his face neutral since he wouldn’t want someone to stare at him if he were an amputee. Instead he just trains his eyes onto the blond’s face. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen eyes that blue before. They’re quiet as they look at each other. 

On the streets you never break eye contact first. It’s the easiest way to get hurt or killed. In the military you never break eye contact because it’s a sign of disrespect. So Levi really isn’t sure how long they look at each other before the blond clears his throat, “I didn’t know they were moving you today.” His voice is deep and nearly makes Levi’s bones vibrate.

Levi just clicks his tongue and shrugs, “I just woke up and they said there was no need for me to stay.” He doesn’t offer anything more and neither does the other. Instead the man moves to his side of the room that looks a bit more lived in which makes Levi wonder how long he had been here. His arm is still bandaged up but most amputees don’t have to stay in rehabilitation long since there isn’t anything to rehabilitate. 

The blond sits down on his bed and then flickers his eyes back over to Levi, “I’m Erwin.” 

There is no title attached to his name so Levi imagines that the other would rather forgo them. He can do that. 

So he offers a grunt and moves to sit up a bit against the pillows, “Levi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a kudos or comment if you enjoyed, and as always please leave a suggestion or comment to help improve my writing!


	2. Routine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi hates playing chess with Erwin. It might stem from the fact he hates to lose but playing with Erwin always makes him feel exponentially stupid; however, he always finds himself settled across the table from him. Despite only knowing the man for a week, Levi has found that he can never say no to Erwin.

After the first week they start to settle into a nice routine. He and Erwin get along relatively well despite not knowing each other long. Neither of them ask questions about their personal lives, their injuries, or anything army related. Levi still isn’t even sure what Erwin’s rank is but really he doesn’t care what his ranking is since it doesn’t matter for the both of them anymore anyways. 

Armin does eventually come towards the end of the week to remove the stitches in his face and it’s the first time that Erwin had seen him without the gauze. There’s still a gauze patch wrapped around part of his face to go over his eye since it’s still healing, but it’s unlikely that he will be able to see out of it like before. It’s obvious that Armin had been worrying how Levi would take the news, but Levi had accepted it already. There was a higher chance of him going totally or partially blind than him being able to truly see out of it again. Not to mention Levi was never one to think on the bright side so he had already accepted the worst. 

When he walked back into the room after his check up, the blond was lounging in his bed with a book in front of his face and eyes flickering over the page. Levi had learned early that Erwin ate books like they were nothing. He was always working through a new book every day or two and he figured that was why the other was so well spoken and intelligent. Since neither of them talked about the army, they did a lot of talking about books and things of that nature. Levi was never much of a reader but he could listen to Erwin talk about books until the day he died. He liked to hear the silence being filled by other’s deep voice that always settled into his bones and would occasionally lull him to sleep. 

The door clicks shut behind him and that causes Erwin to look over. Upon seeing Levi’s scarred face, his eyes widened the slightest bit but they soften a split second later. The book that had been in his hands is deposited on the bed as he moves to sit with his legs over the side of the bed. 

They both have a bad habit of never breaking eye contact and usually it doesn’t bother him but with his face exposed the insecurities flood him. Words elude the both of them and Levi shifts on his feet before Erwin clears his throat and speaks, “Want to play chess?”

Levi hates playing chess with Erwin. It might stem from the fact he hates to lose but playing with Erwin always makes him feel exponentially stupid; however, he always finds himself settled across the table from him. Despite only knowing the man for a week, Levi has found that he can never say no to Erwin. 

Like routine, they fall into a steady rhythm. Erwin moves his pieces with precision and clear purpose while Levi just moves them with the hope that it would work somehow. He isn’t horrible at chess but Erwin always wins and he wonders why they even play considering he wins every time. Occasionally he looks up to study the other, though Erwin’s eyes are always the same, intense and calculating. Thick brows are drawn into a furrow that seems to cast shadows over the blue eyes making them appear darker. Erwin’s lips are pressed into a thin line and his jaw slightly clenched but Levi never tells him to relax and that it’s just a game. 

“Why do you like to play with me?” The words leave Levi’s lips when Erwin decides to move his pawn to take one of Levi’s. 

“It’s interesting,” is the reply he gets so he doesn’t push it and Erwin seems content with that being the only answer he wants to give. 

Erwin ends up winning.

By the second week, Levi is sure he’s going stir crazy. It isn’t like he’s only confined to the room but he’s ready to leave the hospital. He’s ready for his eye to figure out what it’s going to do so that he can leave and try to return to some sort of normalcy. He can tell that Erwin has picked up on his irritability and has made a few efforts to make it better. 

Usually they leave the floor to walk through the garden which does help. During their walks the fresh air seems to open up his chest and get the icky hospital feeling off his body. He really isn’t even sure where the hospital is located since he never asked, but wherever it is the weather is always nice. 

During these walks, Erwin fills up conversation with anything and everything. Levi is amazed that the man can talk about anything and make it feel important or interesting. It’s also nice to know that there isn’t a requirement for Levi to have to speak. Erwin never asks for more than what Levi is willing to give and it’s appreciated. 

When they finish their walk they head back to their room to rest before Levi leaves to people watch in the lounge. As much as he likes to be around Erwin he doesn’t want to suffocate the other, so he settles to watch people in the lounge as an alternative. Most of the soldiers are like him, caught in an explosion accident. Though he does know others have seen worse horrors.

There are various people with missing limbs and burn scars. What unnerves him the most is seeing all the kids here. He knows they aren’t actually kids but compared to him they might as well be. 

Everytime he sees the younger soldiers they remind him of his squad. From what he’s been told they’re all still in intensive care and he just wants to go see them but every time he asks Armin he’s given a firm no that signals the end of the conversation. He bites back insults because he knows that none of this is Arlet’s fault. He’s just following orders given to him. 

As he watches the people around him his mind goes numb. One of the more energetic kids manages to get into an argument with another that results in a nurse having to mediate so it doesn’t escalate. Occasionally he watches the TV, but nothing is ever interesting enough to warrant his attention so he usually just sticks to the people around him. There are a couple guys sitting at the other TV playing some sort of video game and a few girls working on a puzzle by the window. People watching can only provide so much entertainment so by the time an hour passes he’s shuffling his way back to the room.

The lights in the hallways are so bright it causes him to squint his good eye as he navigates the different turns. A few times he passes a smiling nurse but he never returns one of his own which doesn’t seem to bother them. He can only imagine what these people have seen in this hospital. 

The slippers on his feet shuffle against the tile and for a moment that’s the only sound he can hear. No longer does he hear the shouts from the lounge or the wheels of nurses carts. He and Erwin live towards the end of one of the offshoot corridors away from most people which isn’t a bad thing. Levi likes the solitude it provides them since it means no one ever comes knocking unless it’s their doctors.

By the time he arrives and pushes the door open, he’s ready to crawl into his bed and sleep but upon seeing Hange and Armin standing in the room...he knows that won’t be the case. Levi carefully shuts the door and looks passed them to Erwin who is tight-lipped and staring at his singular hand in his lap. 

“What’s the bad news,” his voice cuts through and he swears he can see Armin sweat a little bit. 

Hange clears their throat and then nods towards his bed, “Why don’t you take a seat.” With a nod Levi moves to his bed, albeit a little stiff. Once he’s settled on his bed, Hange takes a step closer to him with hands folded behind their back. 

“I have news about your squad,” is all they say at first and already Levi can feel his throat close up. He just nods at them and Hange chews on their lip before sighing, “As you know they all have been in critical condition. I’m sorry but they have all since passed away. Eld was the last one to go and he died earlier this morning.” It’s obvious they try to sound detached but it isn’t working. Hange had taken a liking to Levi much to his dismay, so he gets the impression delivering this news must be difficult for them. 

For a few seconds he just sits there and tries to grasp at the words that bounce around in his head. They’re dead? Eld died this morning? Why hadn’t anyone told him about this sooner? As all these thoughts go through his head, his hands fist into the sheets under him and he exhales his breath. 

Already he can feel his throat closing up and the feeling of burning behind his eyes is enough to make him want to claw them out. Grief courses through every inch of his body and it is so suffocating. The three in the room say nothing as Levi processes the information. He wants to scream. To call them idiots. To ask them how the hell they couldn’t do their jobs and keep them alive. He wants to rip his heart out of his chest so he doesn’t have to feel all of these feelings coursing through him anymore because now he’s alone yet again. His squad is gone. The only people left that he truly cared about are gone. The people he was supposed to take care of are gone. 

“Get out,” his voice sounds foreign to him. It’s tense and cracking. He watches as Hange seems to falter. They’re lips part like they want to say something but instead they just nod and usher Armin to the door. Hange sends a last look into the room that is directed towards Erwin but doesn’t say anything else. Instead they just pull the door open and step out to leave the two men alone.

Erwin doesn’t say anything and just lets Levi do what he needs to do in order to process the news he’s been given. Levi on the other hand feels like he’s going to throw up. Slowly he slips off his bed and stands, but his legs are shaking the slightest bit and he feels like they might give out at any moment. 

Anger starts to course through his body as he thinks about the accident. Why was he alive? Why did they all have to die? Was this his luck? To outlive his squad and have to deal with the survivors guilt. 

He needs to get rid of the tension building in his body so he takes a moment to look around with his good eye. It settles on the water glass on his nightstand and with a shaky hand he grabs it. The glass is cold in his palm and for a moment he just stares at it before he feels the white hot anger wash over him again. 

Before he even realizes what he’s doing,his arm is reeling back and the glass slips from his fingers and hurls towards the wall. It shatters against the wall and leaves a wet spot on the wall that drips down to the floor. He watches the water slip down the wall and pool on the floor but it does nothing to really sate him. 

Erwin looks at him and for a moment Levi had nearly forgotten that he was there. They just look at each other and slowly Erwin’s face shifts to something much softer than he had ever seen before. His eyes carry most of his sympathy and he wonders why Erwin was looking at him like he might shatter until he felt warmth on his face. 

Levi blinks a couple times and the feeling of his eyes burning and his throat closing up is enough to let him know that he’s crying. Erwin watches for a moment and it isn’t until a hiccup leaves Levi’s chest that he’s up and walking over to the other. He doesn’t touch him and instead just stands close enough for the other to know that he’s there. It’s a small comfort. 

“Levi…,” His voice is soft as he speaks and he lifts a hand to hover over his shoulder in a silent question. The smaller just clenches his eyes shut and moves on his own. 

Without much thought, he leans forward and presses his forehead against Erwin’s chest and it’s only a beat later that an arm wraps around him to hold him close. They had never touched before this and Levi usually wasn’t one for physical touch but right now he needed it. He needed to feel something against him so he knew that he wasn’t alone. 

He isn’t sure how long he cries but he knows it’s long enough that eventually his knees start to give out and Erwin decides to lean against the wall and slide down it. It doesn’t take long for Erwin to situate them into a comfortable position with Levi between his thighs and face turned to the side so his cheek can rest against Erwin’s shoulder. Occasionally Erwin pets Levi’s hair and offers a few comforting sounds but other than that he doesn’t try to get him to stop crying. They just sit there leaned against each other until Levi tires himself out to the point that his eyes hurt and his voice is raw. 

With a soft sigh Erwin smooths his fingers over the dakr hair of his undercut and then moves it so he can gently tilt Levi’s face up. It’s obvious that he doesn’t know what to say to the other so he just settles on a small smile that does manage to warm Levi up the slightest bit. 

“Thank you,” Levi’s voice is barely a whisper as he looks at the blond and then down to his lap. He can feel the beginnings of embarrassment start to creep up but Erwin is quick to quell them whether he knows it or not. 

“You’re welcome,” he starts and moves his hand so it can settle gently on one of Levi’s hands, “losing a squad is hard, but regardless of that you need to carry on so it doesn’t all feel meaningless.” 

A shaky sigh flutters in his chest and he gives a nod before lifting a hand to wipe at his face but he winces when he pushes against a tender part of his face. Erwin takes note before he gently pushes Levi’s hand away and makes quick work of the tears himself.

“You’re healing up nicely,” he comments absently, “though there will be scarring.” This is the first time either of them have spoken about injuries. He can feel the gentle brush of Erwin’s knuckles against one of the cuts down his face. Levi gives a snort as his eyes slip shut. 

They settle into a nice silence that is very much needed. He presses his forehead against Erwin’s left shoulder and clenches his jaw shut to keep a sob from slipping out. The weight of the grief is too much. 

“I didn’t…,” he stops and inhales deeply before letting it go, “They wouldn’t let me see them.” The fact he had been kept away from them as they laid there dying was what hurt the most. He hadn’t been allowed to go see them and the last time he saw them had been in the humvee before it exploded. Erwin circles his arm back around his small waist and tugs him closer before dropping his head to his hair. 

Erwin really isn’t sure what to say and Levi can tell, though it is nice that he’s trying to comfort him regardless. The blond lets him rest there as long as he needs since neither of them are in a hurry or have anywhere to be. For a while Levi just sits there and allows himself to feel the loss of his comrades. He sits there and thinks about all of the light smiles from Petra, the calming aura of Gunther, the mocking quips from Oluo, and the logic that Eld gave. He lets himself remember them and once he gets too tired to remember or feel anything he just listens to the steady thump of Erwin’s heart. 

The larger never makes any move to get up or push Levi off so they rest there together in a nice little bubble. At some point he falls asleep to the steady rhythm of Erwin’s heart and it’s the first bout of deep sleep he’s had in a while. Luckily there are no dreams or nightmares that haunt him and instead he’s left with the blissfulness of blank sleep. In his sleep nothing exists and the weight on his shoulders isn’t there. He doesn’t have to face the reality of death and guilt. 

Though like all good things his sleep comes to an end some hours later. The room is dark and it takes him a moment to realize that he’s in his bed. There’s a slight pain in his neck and he figures it’s from falling asleep leaned against Erwin like he had been. With a small groan he moves to sit up and lifts a hand to hold his head. A headache is pounding at his skull and he figures it must be from the crying he had done earlier so he goes to get out of bed and grab some headache medicine from their bathroom. The tile is cold against his bare feet and it makes a shiver travel up his spine and settle at the top of his head. 

His arms wrap around his body as he starts towards the bathroom, but before he reaches it, his eyes catch sight of Erwin’s sleeping form. The blond is on his side with half his face pressed into his pillow, a few soft puffs of breath escaping parted lips. He looks so at peace like that. The wrinkles in his face are gone and without them he looks a few years younger. During the daylight Levi could never imagine that Erwin could look so soft but in the soft glow of the moonlight that’s the only adjective he can think of to describe the man.

Levi has to rip his gaze away in order to resume his trip to the bathroom. The door shuts behind him and the first time he sees is his reflection. The pale skin around his visible eye is now red and a little puffy and the eye itself is still bloodshot. With a huff he pulls the mirror open to show the medicine cabinet and grabs the medicine he was looking for. After tapping two out into his palm, he throws two of them back and swallows them dry with a small grimace. 

A few seconds later he’s staring at his reflection again only this time he’s looking at the gauze over his eye. It had been on ever since the stitches had been taken out, and he was curious as to what it looked like now. Hange or Armin had never said that he had to keep it on so with gentle hands he started to take it off with his left hand. Ever so gently, he removes the gauze until it drops from his face and lands in the sink basin. 

With his left hand he gently traced his index finger over the cut that started above his eye and stopped at his bottom lip. It’s still red and angry looking but everyone says it’s healing nicely so really there is no room to disagree. The focus of his attention wasn’t the scar though...it was the eye he was finally looking at for the first time. 

He didn’t lose the eye so it was still there in the socket but all he could see was the way the pupil hardly dilated under the harsh lights of the bathroom. His vision in it is blurry to the point that it was never going to come back and he wouldn’t be shocked if eventually he couldn’t see anything. Levi sets the gauze to the side and runs a hand through his hair before deciding to leave the bathroom. Staring at himself in the mirror isn’t going to do him any favors.

Back in the main room, his good eye has to take a moment to adjust to the dim light of the room and for a moment he just stands there. Standing there in the dark makes him feel like a child contemplating if they should go into their parent’s room after a nightmare. It feels ridiculous, yet his feet feel cemented to the floor. 

Seconds tick by until his brain decides what it wants him to do. That’s how he finds himself standing next to Erwin’s bed looking down at the sleeping man. 

The full size bed looks a tad small for Erwin’s larger frame but there is still plenty of room which makes Levi chew on his cheek in thought. He lets his gaze drift over the sleeping face and is once again struck by how young Erwin appears. 

He reaches down with his right hand and lightly moves his pinky over the line of his cheek only to watch as Erwin makes a small noise in his sleep. Levi stills his hand as Erwin shifts the slightest bit in his sleep but never does he wake up. A few seconds move by and then he moves his ring finger to brush over the strong line of Erwin’s nose, only that is the straw that breaks the camel's back. A soft twitch of his eyelids lets Levi know that he’s going to wake up. 

He’s a slow riser and Levi finds that he likes watching the sleepy blue eyes adjust to the world around him. A slow look of recognition crosses his features and then one of concern follows soon after, “Levi is everything okay?” 

His words are cautious since he isn’t sure if Levi is having an episode or if he was awake. They’re soldiers so neither of them are strangers to PTSD and its side effects.

“Sorry,” he says lamely and clears his throat, “I didn’t mean to wake you.” That’s a lie. 

Erwin shifts so he can sit up a bit and rubs some of the sleep from his eyes. Blue eyes are looking up and it doesn’t take long for all the pieces to click in his head. Another flash of recognition crosses his features and then Erwin is shifting over so there’s room for Levi.  
As embarrassing as it should have felt, Levi didn’t hesitate to sit down on the bed with his back to the other, arms resting on thighs as he leaned forward and dropped his head between his shoulders. The bed shifts behind him and then there’s a hand on his back, settled right between his shoulder blades. Warmth spreads through his upper body and he finds himself leaning back into the touch only for the hand to start rubbing along his shoulders and then stopping to grip at his left shoulder. 

“What’s wrong?” 

It’s a simple question but there are so many answers to that question. Levi really isn’t sure how to answer it because nothing in his life is ever right. He’s never what one would call lucky. So instead of answering the question he just moves to swing his legs up onto the bed and slips them under the covers. With the covers up to his chest, Levi faces Erwin and only offers two words, “goodnight, Erwin.” 

There’s a note of finality in his voice that Erwin doesn’t push, so instead he just lays down to face Levi, “goodnight, Levi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed please leave a kudos or comment, and as always please leave a comment or suggestion to help improve my writing!


	3. Wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He thinks about his first boot camp and being the first to complete the nearly impossible obstacle course. That had been the first time in his life he had encountered positive praise. Then his mind drifts off to the two he had met at boot camp, Isabel and Furlan. They had been just like him, street rats with nowhere else to go. They died on their first tour. His promotions take over next and then he remembers the first time he had met his squad when he moved up to the sergeant rank. Their smiles and hard work. Finally he thinks about Erwin and the sort of friendship they had built over the time Levi had been here.
> 
> He clicks his teeth and turns his gaze to look at the woman, “No. I don’t regret it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is super long and took me so long to write and edit lol. Anyways, this is the smut chapter so I hope it's good. I've never written smut for a fic before so please go easy on me! 
> 
> Writing it was really just a means for me to indulge in the fact they never really got to comfort one another in canon...so this is me just indulging.

That becomes their new routine. Every night Levi starts out in his own bed and then at some point he would wake up and crawl into Erwin’s bed. The blond was a relatively light sleeper so every time the bed dips under Levi’s weight he shifts to make room. Then the two of them fall back asleep only to wake up at 5 am for breakfast. 

It doesn’t take long for Levi to realize why this is a rehabilitation center. After his first month Armin forces him into therapy. The inner workings and process of the center is explained to him by Erwin since he refuses to even look at Hange. 

Erwin easily explains that it’s a six month program where they spend their first month healing and adjusting to their injuries before having to go through therapy to mentally adjust to their losses. It all makes sense. There has always been a problem with hospitals releasing wounded soldiers to the world when they hadn’t had a chance to really adjust to their new losses. He finds out that Erwin is a month ahead of him in the program...and the fact that he will leave a month ahead leaves a bitter taste in Levi’s mouth.

The therapy could have been helpful only if it weren’t for the fact that Levi is a stubborn bastard. For the first month it’s a stalemate of him and the therapist just staring at each other. His therapist is a woman with short blond hair and glasses, and she seems just fine with letting him stare all he wanted.

He learns that her name was Nanaba and that she wasn’t the type to coddle and beg for her patients to speak to her. That small fact alone gives Levi a new found respect for the woman...so he figures he could give her something then. 

It is the third month of him being there when he finally decides to speak up. For a month and some change they would just stare at each other for the entirety of his sessions. At one point Nanaba had told him either way she was getting paid so it didn’t matter if he decided to speak or not. 

“I never wanted to be in the military,” he says finally and he notices the way she shifts in her sheet and clicks her pen, ready for him to continue. His arms cross over his chest and he looks out the large window in her office and starts to speak again, “I grew up on the streets. My mom was a prostitute and died when I was young. My uncle took me in but he was hardly the father figure of the year. I got in with a gang and my only out was the military so I signed up and now I’m here with a useless eye and missing two fingers on my dominant hand. I keep wondering if this was really worth it all.” 

Nanaba is silent for a moment as she processes what he said and then she writes a few things down before speaking, “do you regret it?” 

The question sits in his mind for a moment and he thinks about it. Does he regret it? 

He thinks about his first boot camp and being the first to complete the nearly impossible obstacle course. That had been the first time in his life he had encountered positive praise. Then his mind drifts off to the two he had met at boot camp, Isabel and Furlan. They had been just like him, street rats with nowhere else to go. They died on their first tour. His promotions take over next and then he remembers the first time he had met his squad when he moved up to the sergeant rank. Their smiles and hard work. Finally he thinks about Erwin and the sort of friendship they had built over the time Levi had been here.

He clicks his teeth and turns his gaze to look at the woman, “No. I don’t regret it.”

It isn’t until his fourth month there that he realizes how much he relies on Erwin. He can’t recall the last time he’s trusted someone to this extent. Even Isabel and Furlan had never been trusted to this degree and while his squad was precious to him...even they had never received this much from him before. 

Over time their routine had changed and instead of Levi eventually joining Erwin in his bed, at night when they got ready to sleep he would turn the light off and crawl into the bed right off the bat. It’s familiar now and he wonders how he would be able to sleep when Erwin left.

He still hardly knows anything about the other but that doesn’t matter because it isn’t necessary. It’s weird but Levi doesn’t need to know his entire life story to know that he trusts this man. In this room they’re just Levi and Erwin and for him that is enough. 

He’s turning the light off and Erwin has been in bed for a few hours reading. His arm had been hurting earlier with phantom limb pain so he had taken to just laying around for the most part. The only light in the room is the warm glow of the lamp and his feet find their way to the bed and he’s crawling in it easily. The blond doesn’t even bat an eye as Levi makes his nest in the bed and instead just marks his spot in the book before setting it aside and then moving to lay down. The two of them found that sleeping with the lamp on was better. It helped keep the nightmares away. 

Once they’re both laying down, Levi looks up towards Erwin’s face and watches as the other doesn’t even hide the fact his eyes are tracing over the marks on his face. It isn’t much longer before he feels the warmth of a hand on his face then a gentle finger brushing over the lid of his eye and all the way down to his lips, “Hange stopped by earlier.” 

Levi just grunts and rolls his eyes, “If they’re trying to get you to sweet talk me it won’t work.” 

Erwin just chuckles and draws his hand back, “I believe that is the intention but I think you should consider it. They had no ill intent with keeping you away from your squad and you know that...plus Hange wants to apologize so I doubt that’ll ever happen again.” 

He’s got a point and Levi knows it. Hange didn’t do anything on purpose and Levi knew better than most what it was like to take orders from a higher up. Especially if they were orders you didn’t like. With a sigh he figures he can relent. 

“I’ll consider it,” he says finally and Erwin nods before going to thread his fingers through Levi’s hair. Over the course of the months they had crossed most lines that men didn’t cross in friendships...though they didn't talk about it really. The first line they crossed is sharing a bed, the second they crossed is the light touches on occasion, and the most recent line is touching whenever they want to in and outside of the bed. None of the contact is unwelcome; however, physical touch and intimacy is something that Levi has never been well acquainted with. 

Levi notices that there are times when he craves just the slightest bit of contact from the other. He finds he wants to feel fingers brushing through his hair or over his nose. Never before has he felt so weak and desperate but it isn’t like he has much control over it. 

To him sexuality was something that doesn’t matter. You are who you are and the least of his worries is who you fuck. It was none of his business at the end of the day. Truthfully, Levi had never even taken much care to label his own sexuality. In the military you never told and it isn’t like there’s much room to sleep with other people anyways. There isn’t time. 

Before joining, he’d slept with both men and women so having Erwin touch him like this was nothing new to him. The tenderness in which he did it is new but other than that he’s never bothered by it. 

The hand in his hair slipped down until nails lightly scratch at the shave of his undercut. A pleased hum settles into his throat and causes his eyes to slip shut in pure bliss. 

Erwin watches him silently as eyes slipped shut and the muscles in his face relax. It isn’t often that Levi looks relaxed in this manner so when it did happen the other is glad to make sure it stays.

After a few seconds the scratching stops. At the abrupt halt, Levi peels his eyes open only to look right into the familiar blue that held him captive more often than naught. Even in the dim yellow light of the lamp they’re vivid. He watches the slight twitches in Erwin’s face and he feels glued to his spot. The hand instead finds purchase on the side of his neck and a thumb brushes over his sharp jaw only to stop right on his chin below his bottom lip. 

They’re both caught in their own lull of time and he wonders if the months of sharing a bed and gentle touches are going to finally come to fruition. Erwin’s lips part as if he was going to stay something but they close once again and Levi quirks a brow, “What?”

The other stays quiet before a light smile forms right back on his lips. With a shrug of the shoulder, he gives a quiet quip, “I was just wondering how the scar on your lip would feel if I were to kiss you.” 

His admission is enough to catch Levi off guard and he can only blink for a few moments. For months they had been skirting around one another and to hear something so straight forward was a little shocking. With slightly widened eyes, the only thing he can do is lift a hand to grab onto Erwin’s wrist, offering a gentle squeeze as he finds his words, “then find out.” 

The push is all Erwin needs to surge forward and press their lips together in a kiss that is sure to be imprinted in his mind for the rest of his life. He hadn’t even thought that a man like Erwin could kiss like this. There’s no desperation as they press kiss after kiss back onto each other’s lips. Each one varies in length but they all sear into his body just the same. Levi relocates his hand to tangle in the soft blond hair that earns a hum from the larger man. Erwin shifts not long after so his hand can rest on Levi’s waist. 

It isn’t long before the hand slips under the hem of his shirt and cool fingertips are skimming along his waist. That is enough to make Levi pull away for a moment as a shiver goes down his spine. Gently, he leans forward to press their foreheads together, his breaths coming out in short puffs. Erwin’s hand is burning against his skin and he likes it. 

Levi swallows the lump in his throat before sighing softly. He wants to go back in for another kiss but is afraid that if he did then he wouldn’t be able to stop. Erwin is in the process of catching his breath when he lays his hand on the small of Levi’s back in order to pull him closer, “it felt about like how I imagined it would.”

It takes a second but once the light joke settles in, Levi couldn't help the small laugh that bubbles passed his lips, “did it?” He questions and pulls back so he can see Erwin fully. Anyone can see that Erwin is a beautiful man in nearly every aspect. Physically, he’s tall, broad, and muscular. He has pale skin that at one point had probably been perfect but now Levi imagines it is littered in scars due to his service in the army. Levi also has a feeling that in his youth Erwin had been a golden boy. He was all well kept blond hair, a charming smile, and strong facial features. Levi’s favorite part of the man before him is the blue of his eyes. They’re striking and vivid at any point in the day and Levi was sure even in the dark he could see them. 

This time Levi is the one moving forward to connect their lips again. This time things feel firm and solid. No longer is it just slow and languid rolls of their lips, but instead it’s the nip of teeth to his bottom lip and fingernails digging into the skin of his hip. It feels like all the air in his lungs is being ripped out of him and it leaves him feeling incredibly dizzy. He uses one of his hands to push at Erwin’s chest in order to roll them so that Erwin’s back is pressed into the mattress of the bed and Levi is straddling his hips. 

He nips at Erwin’s bottom lip and listens to the soft noise that it elicits from the kiss swollen lips.. It makes him hum slightly before nipping again until the other parts his lips enough for Levi to slip his tongue past them. Erwin is right there with him and it takes everything in him to suppress a groan when their tongues press together. He can feel the soft puffs of Erwin’s breath coming from his nose which has Levi pulling away with eyes fluttering open. A thin string of saliva connects them but his main focus was the look on Erwin’s face. The man is catching his breath through parted lips. Said lips were pink and slightly swollen from them nipping at each other a moment ago. His eyes were opened and half lidded, but his pupils are blown to the point Levi could barely see the blue of his irises. 

They both just look at each other for a few moments before Erwin is sitting up fully. Levi shifts to sit in his lap and decides to ignore the slight hardness he feels in the other’s sweatpants. Though Levi knows he can’t say anything since he was already getting uncomfortable in the shorts he’s wearing. 

Erwin lifts his hand back up to cup Levi’s cheek before letting his thumb move along his cheek. His eyes trace over the different areas of his face until they once again settle on the long scar. The look makes him uncomfortable and he could feel his insecurities already start to flare up yet again. He wants to hide but what Erwin says next made him halt all his thoughts. 

“So beautiful…” 

The words are uttered so softly and reverently that it feels like Erwin is praying. Levi wants to believe the words but the nasty insecurities tell him otherwise so he just looks away and shakes his head.

“You can’t say that shit to men,” his words aren’t defensive and they aren’t malicious either but he feels like he needs to take a step back before this goes too far. He isn’t sure why he’s so worried about shattering this thing he has with Erwin but he knows he needs the other. 

“Of course I can,” comes Erwin’s stubborn response and he quirks a brow before leaning forward to press their foreheads together, his hand moving to rest on the back of Levi’s neck, “Beauty isn’t just limited to women.” Levi knows he’s right because he thinks Erwin is the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. 

“Well anyways, I’m the furthest thing from beautiful with this scar over my face,” his words probably come out sadder than he intends because he catches the way Erwin’s face softens and then a soft kiss is being pressed to the corner of his lips. 

Another kiss is pressed to the scar over his lip and then to his cheek where the scar runs down, “I disagree...and maybe you won’t believe me until I show you.” The words are serious and Levi has learned that Erwin is a man of his word. They look at each other for a moment and Levi knows that Erwin is offering him an out. This is his moment to say no and then it will be over. He doesn’t want it to end so he keeps quiet. 

They shift once again and this time it’s him that’s on his back and Erwin straddling his hips. The breath is momentarily knocked out of him as he looks up at Erwin who is in turn looking down on him like he is the most beautiful sight on the planet. Perhaps his words had been true. 

It starts with a kiss to his forehead only for each kiss to press to different areas of his face. His eyebrows, his eyelids, the bridge of his nose, the scar running down his cheek, and then he moves down his jaw. Obediently he tips his head back so that Erwin can have all the access he could want to the skin of his neck. The blond presses kiss after kiss along the right side of his jaw until they move along the tendon of his neck and then to the juncture where his collar bones are. Erwin pays special attention there and gives a few experimental nips and bites that result in a few embarrassing gasps tumbling from Levi’s lips. 

A bout of impatience seems to take hold of the larger man judging by the way he gently tugs at the hem of Levi’s shirt with his hand. He’s quick to understand and sits up the slightest bit in order to help Erwin slips the shirt off his rose and then toss it to the floor. Erwin’s eyes rake over his exposed torso and once more Levi feels the need to hide. The blue eyes look like they’re committing every inch of his skin to memory and when they make eye contact once again he can feel a flush creeping up his neck. 

“Are you just going to stare all night?” the words come out with a bite to them but Erwin doesn’t flinch back. Instead he just chuckles and moves his hand to slide his index finger over his sternum and down to his belly button.

“What would you do if I did?” The words are teasing as he leans back down and presses a kiss to his collarbones before working his way over his right shoulder. The press of lips went over his right bicep, the fold of his elbow, and then down his forearm. A lingering kiss is pressed to the pulsepoint of his wrist and he stops to look at Levi’s right hand.

The missing fingers had healed by now but he still hated to look at them. Most of the time they were wrapped in gauze just like they were now. Erwin took his time to gently unwrap the bandages and once they’re off his hand and fluttering down to the bed he feels like he is going to combust. His heart is hammering in his chest as lips ghosted over the palm of his hand and then right to the area where his index and middle finger should have been. He can feel the lump in his throat expanding to the point where he isn’t sure if he might cry or not. 

Erwin flips the hand over to press a kiss to the back of his hand before gently setting it down on the bed, “You deserve to be worshipped, Levi.” 

All intelligent words leave his brain as he tries to think of a response to Erwin’s statement. He feels his jaw clenching as he looks up at the man over him and nothing but warmth runs through his body. He can’t say anything as Erwin dips back down to press his lips right over his heart and that one is enough to get a soft noise from him. All he can feel is lips against his skin as they ghost over every scar on his chest and abdomen. Most are scars from fights when he was on the streets but some are from his time in the army. Erwin makes sure each one gets loved before he’s working his way up again. 

Levi is about to ask what he’s doing but the words die on his tongue when he feels the tip of his tongue dart right over one of his nipples. He sucks in a breath and lets his eyes move so he can look down at the other but all he can see is blond hair. Though he knows exactly what Erwin is doing the moment he feels the flat of his tongue sliding over the area and then enveloping it between his lips. Teeth scrape against it and that alone gets a choked noise of surprise out of Levi and warmth rushes up to his face. It deepens out of embarrassment when he hears Erwin chuckle. 

Erwin moves to rest his chin on Levi’s chest and looks up at him with a light smile and blown pupils, “you okay?” 

A small huff comes from Levi’s nose and gives a non-threatening sneer to the blond, “peachy.” 

Another chuckle slips past Erwin’s lips and then he goes back to what he was doing. Instead of kissing along his torso like he had done earlier he instead leaves little nips and bites along the porcelain skin. A few more gasps leave his lips at the harder nips but all too soon they stop and he’s missing them. Though he doesn’t have long to miss the nips and bites when Erwin is licking along the waistband of his shorts. A moan slips out as his eyes flutter shut, and he would have been embarrassed yet again if he hadn’t been distracted by Erwin’s hand sliding up the outside of his left thigh. 

Erwin gives a soft hum at the noise before moving his hand up to lightly tap his hip in a gesture to get him to lift them up. Without a second thought Levi did as he was asked and Erwin didn’t waste any time in slipping his fingers under the waistband of his shorts and started to tug them down. Levi had figured he would need help considering the task seems a little more difficult to do with only one hand, but Erwin manages on his own and soon enough his shorts and underwear were off his body and being deposited onto the ground. 

A shiver runs down his body due to the temperature change but he isn’t given much time to really adjust considering Erwin is grabbing Levi’s ankle in his hand. With a slight bit of confusion, Levi props up on his elbows to look at what he was doing only to swallow when they made eye contact. He watches as Erwin presses a kiss over his ankle bone and then works his way up his calf and then to his knee. The gaze with which Erwin is looking at him makes heat flare up in every inch of his body and he wants to look away but he’s glued. They hold eye contact as he works his way up towards his thigh and from then on the kisses linger. Levi swears that in the morning the imprints of Erwin’s lips will be burned into his skin.

Each kiss and nip to his skin only proves to produce louder sounds from the smaller, and his stomach clenches with every inch the blond moves up until he’s almost right where he wants him. Erwin hums softly and Levi wants to hate the smirk that’s on his lips, “You make the prettiest sounds.” 

Levi would have thrown a response right back to him but he’s cut off by the feeling of Erwin’s hand wrapping around his cock and giving a light squeeze. His elbows give out which makes him drop back down to the mattress only for his head to tilt back when the pad of Erwin’s thumb rubs at the bead of pre-cum leaking from the tip. It’s enough to get another moan to tumble from his lips and he’s glad their neighbors were already released from the hospital. He clenches his jaw tight so that he could keep his sounds at bay but it was obvious that Erwin didn’t want that by the way he gives another squeeze of his hand, “unclench your jaw.”

It isn’t a request and Levi finds himself obeying. The tension in his jaw and neck relax which is rewarded by a slow pump of Erwin’s hand and it has Levi’s jaw going slack and his brows pinching into a furrow, “oh fuck…” His voice is tense as he speaks and it must do enough to please the other by the way he settles into a slow rhythm that has Levi wanting more. It feels so unfair but he figures this is better than nothing. 

His hips buck into Erwin’s hands with the hope of getting more but all he gets is Erwin leaning down to bite his thigh, hard, “I only have one hand so it’s either you keep your hips still or I stop.” Erwin has a morbid sense of humor in regards to his missing arm so Levi is used to the other making comments about only having one, so in any other instance he would have laughed. This time? He did as he was told and tried to keep his hips still while Erwin teased him with the slow pump of his hand that was never enough. He needed more. 

“God,” he gasps and curls his toes against the sheets of the bed, “more...please.” Erwin knows that Levi hardly ever uses the word please and for that he’s rewarded. He wasn’t sure what he expected but the feeling of lips parting over the head of his cock and a tongue swirling around him left him seeing white. A choked gasp gets caught in his throat and the sound of Erwin’s name leaving his lips doesn’t even sound like him, needy and begging. 

It’s all incredibly short lived and almost teasing considering Erwin gives the head a few sucks before he’s pulling his mouth and hand away. A low whine filters through the air and Levi opens his eyes to look down at the smirking blond. His hand smooths over one of Levi’s thighs once more before he’s leaning down to kiss at his hip bones, “I stopped because I need to prep you and I hate to be the bringer of bad news but the hospital doesn’t exactly provide lube.” 

Levi’s brows furrow as he listens to the other and he’s about to ask a question but Erwin is moving up his body once more but this time he’s wasting no time. Once they’re face to face again he bumps their noses together gently and he smiles. Levi can feel his own smile threaten to tug at his lips but before it can find purchase on his face lips are pressing back to his own. It lasts for a few seconds before Erwin leans back and is sitting back on his knees. He skims his fingers up Levi’s torso before letting the first two press against his bottom lip, “suck.” 

Once again Levi finds himself in no position to say no and immediately his lips part to welcome the digits into his mouth. After they’re settled against his tongue he closes his lips around them and sets to work. Levi lets his tongue swirl around the fingers and he makes sure to wet them enough considering it’s in his best interest. 

Erwin is looking down on him with eyes that stare into his soul. He doesn’t think anyone has ever looked at him like this before. Really he doesn’t think anyone has touched him like this before either. They maintain eye contact until Erwin is removing his index and middle finger from Levi’s mouth, a long string of saliva connecting the fingers to his lips, “good.” 

The praise goes straight to his groin and results in a soft noise settling in his chest. Erwin makes note of it but doesn’t comment since he’s concerned more about being between Levi’s legs once again. It doesn’t take him long to get situated between them in a way that is comfortable for them both. Levi bends his knees and lets his feet lay flat against the mattress and spreads his legs enough so that he can be stretched comfortably. Erwin presses a kiss to the inside of his thigh before nudging against it, “put this over my shoulder.” Levi nods and moves the limb to rest over the shoulder and already the position is more relaxing. 

It takes a few seconds before he feels Erwin’s first finger pressing against the ring of muscle and it makes him clench his jaw, “Relax…” Erwin’t voice is soft as he presses another kiss to his thigh, “just relax.” Levi wants to bite back a response but he decides against it and instead just does his best to relax enough so that Erwin can slip the first finger in. It makes him grimace the slightest bit because he hasn’t fucked in a long time. When you’re an officer in the military and your main preference is men...you don’t get around a lot. 

Once the finger is in and he’s had time to adjust, Erwin doesn’t waste any time in pumping it in and out in a slow rhythm that manages to get Levi to relax further. Occasionally he can feel Erwin curling the finger in an attempt to find his prostate. He gets close once and then he’s adding a second finger. The stretch stings the slightest bit but it doesn’t take long for it to feel better and then Erwin is curling his fingers and pumping them deeper. It makes his eyes roll back in his head when the tips of his fingers just barely brush against the spot that he’s waiting for him to hit. 

“There,” his voice is a whisper as he speaks, “Please, again.” 

Erwin turns to nuzzle into the flesh of his thigh and Levi can feel the smirk against his skin, “Here?” The question sounds innocent until Erwin rubs the spot with both of his fingers and for a moment Levi can only think of how cruel the other is, but it doesn’t last long considering a moan rips from his throat and he squeezes his eyes shut tighter. A chuckle escapes Erwin’s lips at the reaction and the next kiss he presses to Levi’s skin is softer, “Sorry...I won’t tease again.” Levi has half a mind to call him a liar. 

He scissors the two fingers to better stretch him and gives a few more experimental rubs to his prostate before he’s adding a third and that makes Levi grunt. His brows furrow again and he works on relaxing so the pain isn’t that bad. Already the saliva has started to dry which makes it all a bit uncomfortable. Though Erwin is patient with him and works him slowly so that it won’t be too much for the other to handle. Soon enough the light burning subsides and he has three fingers inside of him and it’s no longer enough. He keens when the fingers slip out of him and instead he just gets a bite to the thigh. 

Levi catches his breath as Erwin gently slips his leg from off his shoulder and back down to the bed. He makes quick work of his shirt and the view is good from where Levi is laying. He can see every muscle and scar that is on Erwin’s body and it makes him want to bite and lick every inch of skin. They catch each other’s gaze and he watches a smile slip onto Erwin’s lips before he’s leaning forward to kiss him, quick and sweet, “Mind helping me out of my pants?” He gives another quick peck and Levi nods before he’s sitting up and settling his hands on Erwin’s hips. 

“Gladly,” Levi allows a small smirk to settle on his lips as he pushes the waistband of his sweatpants down below his hips and he makes note of the fact the other isn’t wearing underwear. That alone makes him roll his eyes lightly. They manage to get the pants off of Erwin and now Levi is left to look over every inch of skin and it makes his mouth water, “if you don’t hurry up then I will gladly flip us so you’re the one on your back.” His tone holds a light threat to it and he can tell that Erwin knows he’s serious. 

Erwin doesn’t say anything, instead he leans back in and kisses over his right eyebrow, “maybe next time.” 

The promise of a next time makes a thrill go down Levi’s spine and he watches as Erwin moves to settle between Levi’s legs yet again only this time he takes a moment to lift his hand and spit on it before reaching down to at least provide some sort of lubricant to his cock considering what was used earlier had probably dried already. Watching him give a few tugs to his length made Levi’s jaw clench tight and he drops his head back against the pillows to avoid watching since it makes his stomach do flips. 

Erwin moves forward to press his hand against the pillow by Levi’s head and is soon hovering over the other. Levi wasn’t worried in the slightest about Erwin’s strength in the arm because he worked everyday on making sure it was strong. Losing your dominant hand is hard to handle so Erwin made sure that he was making the left one just as strong as the right one had been. 

Blue eyes are looking down on him with such fondness Levi doesn’t think anyone has ever looked at him like that. He moves his legs around Erwin’s waist and places a hand on his jaw, “I’m not getting any younger and neither are you.” Erwin chuckles and kisses between his brows. The affection makes Levi’s eyes flutter shut and he loves it. 

Erwin guides his hips until he’s pressing right against the ring of muscle and then pushing the tip in. It makes Levi groan in slight pain as the burning stretch consumes his lower half and his skin flushes. A few soft noises leave Erwin’s lips as he tries to comfort him and stops moving so that Levi can take the time to adjust as much as he needs, “Holy fuck.” The words are strained as they leave his lips and it takes everything in him to just relax enough so that Erwin can push in another inch. 

It takes a while for Erwin to finally bottom out and Levi knows that it’s taking everything in the man not to move by the way the muscles in his bicep are so tense. Levi’s breaths come out shaky as Erwin presses soft kisses over his face before finally settling onto his lips, “you’re doing so good.” The praise is mumbled against his lips but it’s enough for Levi to hum and relax a bit further. They lay there kissing with the occasional soft praise leaving Erwin’s lips until he’s relaxed enough for the other to move. 

“Move,” Levi hooks his heels around Erwin’s waist and with a nod the blond gives an experimental roll of his hips that has the both of them gasping for air. Erwin has to stop after that and leans down to nuzzle against his cheek before rolling right back into Levi with a soft noise. The breaths from his nose tickle the shell of his ear and he tilts his head to the side the slightest bit to feel more of it. 

Erwin kisses down to the shell of his ear before he taking the lobe between his teeth. Levi groans at that along with the feeling of Erwin’s hips moving as slow as they possibly can into him, “You’re killing me.” Levi moves his arms so his hands can tangle into the hair before tugging at the roots.

“Good,” Erwin muses as he licks the shell of his ear and then kisses it, “I want to take you apart and put you back together again.”

The words leave Levi at a loss for a moment but that all changes when Erwin pushes his hips deeper and hits his prostate dead on without having to search for it, “Oh God-...” His voice is choked as his eyes roll back into his head and Erwin doesn’t waste any time in speeding up the movements of his hips and angling them so he can hit that spot with each thrust. It makes Levi see stars and he can’t do anything but let out gasps and moans along with the begging sound of Erwin’s name on his tongue. 

“You are so beautiful,” Erwin speaks and that alone makes another blush form on his skin, “everything about you...did you know that?” He questions and Levi knows he wants an answer but he can’t trust his own voice. When he doesn't answer Erwin’s hips slow down and all Levi can do is whine at the loss. 

It’s obvious he isn’t going to give him what he wants until there’s a clear answer so he clears his throat and looks at Erwin, “No...No I didn’t.” HIs tone is airy and with the answer his hips pick up their pace again and Levi can feel his toes curl as Erwin drives deep into him and makes his body shift on the mattress with each thrust. 

Erwin just hums before kissing along his jaw, “You are.” He starts and nips at the skin connecting his jaw and neck, “I’ve thought so since you first walked into this room. Pale skin, dark hair, brooding scowl...not to mention you might have a small stature but you’re all compact muscle and sharp angles.” His tongue rolls over the spot he nips which makes a stuttering sigh filter past Levi’s lips. Though he can tell Erwin isn’t done yet as he continues down his neck, “Having you crawl in my bed every night has been torture.” 

The sentiment is the same for Levi. Feeling that broad chest pressing against his back has been a nightmare for his libido. Though now all he can think about is how deep Erwin is thrusting into him and the way sparks of pleasure fizzle at the base of his spine. He can feel everything from the ghosting of Erwin’s breath over his skin, the press of chapped lips to his skin, and the deep thrusts that leave him gasping and clawing at the skin of Erwin’s back. 

Most of the people he’s slept with in the past had fucked hard and rough. Just a means of release, but Erwin is different. The pace he’s at is hardly fast but everything is so deep and precise that it feels better than anything he’s ever had before. His voice echoes through the air and it’s nothing Erwin’s name. 

Though he feels the other stop and it makes a sort of sob tear from his throat but Erwin is quick to shush him and press a kiss to his lips before mumbling against his lips, “Don’t worry...we aren’t done.” 

Levi has to take his word for it and instead watches as Erwin moves back from where he was hovering over Levi and sits back on his knees. His hand goes to his hip and Levi moves so his hips are lifted from the bed and his back is arched the slightest bit. Erwin smiles at his compliance and gently squeezes his hip before he pushes his own hips forward and starts to move at the new angle. A groan settles in his chest at the new angle but also because Erwin starts to thrust at a quicker pace that steals all the air from his lungs. He closes his eyes and just lets his body react on its own. 

Levi has always had an issue with authority and relinquishing control. He had nearly been discharged for not complying to his superiors. Then with his sexual partners he was hardly ever able to just relax. He doesn’t understand why things are different with Erwin but they are. He just wants to please. 

He can feel Erwin’s eyes watching him with intent and on the occasion a noise slips past the other, but what really sends Levi is the way his name sounds leaving the blond’s lips. All of the new sensations make the pressure in his body tighten and he knows he isn’t going to last much longer. Slowly his eyes peel open so he can take note of Erwin’s scrunched brows and parted lips. He swallows the lump in his throat before going to speak, “I...I’m not gonna last.” 

Erwin just gives a nod of recognition and uses his hand to lift up Levi’s hips the slightest bit and the new angle has him pushing against his prostate with every thrust. His lips part in a silent moan and it only takes a couple more thrusts before he’s spilling all over his stomach in quick spurts. He’s eyes shut and he can feel every part of his orgasm roll through his body and Erwin isn’t far behind him considering how hard he was clenched around him. 

The hand on his hips lets go and Levi is quick to let his hips and back drop back onto the mattress which in turn causes Erwin to slip out of him. A soft snort from the blond makes Levi groan and already he can feel the cum start to leak out of him and onto the sheets. That makes his face scrunch up the slightest bit but all he’s really worried about is catching his breath. His and Erwin’s pants are the only sound in the room and then soon enough they’re laying side by side on the bed and exhaustion is taking over Levi. 

His eyes flicker over to Erwin and all he can see is a blinding smile that makes butterflies spread in his stomach. The man leans over to kiss his lips and his right eyelid, “If you’re tired go to sleep. I’ll take care of cleaning up.” 

Levi hums and shakes his head, “I have to clean...myself out.” It’s obvious by his words that he’s spent and Erwin can only chuckle before speaking over him, “I said I’ll take care of it. Go to sleep.” 

He wakes up later that morning and is oddly stiff. A small yawn splits his lips and he rolls over only to feel his face press into a firm chest, the arm over his waist tightening. Levi hums softly and just rests against the solid body. Neither of them move or say anything until nearly ten minutes later when Levi is more awake. He pulls back so he can look up Erwin and he takes note of his smooth features and closed eyes. 

“I know you’re awake,” he speaks and watches the smile twitch on Erwin’s face before he opens his eyes and then they’re looking at each other. He tries to hold his smile back but it’s difficult so he lets it settle on his lips instead of fighting it. 

Erwin doesn’t say anything and instead leans down to press their lips into a long kiss. Eyes flutter shut and each press of their lips makes his smile get wider and wider before they’re both grinning. The kiss gets messy and turns into a small mess of teeth and lips. Once they stop kissing they rest so their lips are just brushing together. It’s soft and loving and should make Levi feel disgusted but he doesn’t because it’s Erwin. 

They move and Erwin is resting on top of him with his elbow against the mattress. Levi spreads his legs to make enough room for Erwin’s hips and he hums before leaning forward to nip at Erwin’s jaw, “I’m sore so you’re not getting anything out of me this morning.” The statement gets Erwin to chuckle and he shakes his head before leaning down enough to kiss his sternum. 

“Don’t worry...I figured as much,” he mused and then kissed over his heart. The presses of affection to his skin makes the morning feel exponentially better. He likes to have the feeling of skin pressing against his own along with the light kisses. It makes him feel wanted. 

He can feel Erwin’s heartbeat against his body and it reminds him that this is all real and they’re both not going anywhere just yet. His hand moves to slide through golden hair. A hum rumbles through Erwin’s chest and soon enough his eyes slide shut, “What am I going to do when I have to leave?” That’s the question they’ve been skirting around. Neither have dared to ask about it. Levi purses his lips as he thinks about it before he’s placing his hands on Erwin’s face and pulling him back up so their noses are pressed together. 

“You’ll wait for me. I’m only a month behind you...so you’ll wait and then I’ll come to you,” he speaks with a soft tone, “You’ve waited this long for me so I’m sure a month won’t make a difference.” Erwin’s eyes slip shut as he rubs his nose against Levi’s and then drops his forehead against his. 

“But now that I’ve had you how can you expect me to wait?” His tone has the slightest bit of a whine to it and it makes a chuckle slip from Levi and he’s leaning forward to connect their lips into a quick kiss that leaves Erwin trying to chase his lips. 

Instead of landing on his lips like he hoped, Levi turned so he would kiss his cheek, “You’ll just have to wait...I’m sure you can manage. I know I won’t be able to call you much but we can work something out and then when they discharge me we can meet up again. You’ll just have to leave me your phone number and address.” Erwin moves so he can nuzzle into Levi’s neck before letting out a sigh. 

“Of course,” Erwin’s voice is muffled against his neck and Levi settles to wrap his arms around Erwin’s neck. 

“Want to lay here a little longer?” Levi asks, eyes slipping closed as Erwin relaxed a little more on top of him but not enough so all of his weight was on him. Erwin just nods so Levi takes that for what it is and kisses his temple. If they’ve survived so far then they can make it through the rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed please leave a kudos or comment, and as always please don't hesitate to leave comment or suggestion to improve my writing!


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